Empty Hearts4:00 AM
Thursday, December 19, 2013
This is totally how I am feeling right now.
It's 4am in the morning and I can't seem to sleep. Feeling super awake. Or it is because I know that I have nothing to look forward to tomorrow so no point going to sleep so early too.
Spoke to my girlfriends today when we were out and I learned many things, things that I should have done it in a better way. Next time, I should not ask guys who are close to me to go clubbing with me. Well at least I can avoid all the problems that happened after clubbing sessions. Two times and it all happened after clubbing sessions. No more asking guys to club no matter how much I want to go out to party with them.
Many thoughts in the middle of the night. I hate how easily I get attached to someone. Reflection on what happened and I can only blame myself for everything that had happened. The same shit always happen and to be honest, I am really getting immune to what's going on even though it still hurts. When the pain gets too much to handle, one will just get immune and force to live with it. But, I guess I shouldn't even be worrying or stressing about it anymore since it's all over.
Everybody forgets me sooner or later, so I am not surprised if you forget me as well. This feeling is indescribable and it's driving me crazy. I once thought of telling you how I feel towards you, but then i realized, you don't even care. I hate the feeling of losing someone important to me and not being able to do anything about it. Knowing that I have to let go but I just don't want to. The pain is there whenever someone close to me walked out from my life.
Sigh, I fear to be happy because whenever I am, something bad happens.